Sh*t skier girls say: Desert edition

Kari, Jenny, Una, Tenaya, Madi

“Sorry mom, but I don’t think I’m going to be vegan this week–Spring Break.”

“I can’t find my birks!”

“We lost our voices.”
“Oww that was my vagina bone!”
“I’m not wearing underwear with my bike shams.”
“I’m not wearing a bra.”

“I need a chest mount.”
“A chest harness?” “Chest.” “A Chesty?”
“Was the GoPro on for that?”
“Oh, you know…just getting the shot.”

“There’s a unicorn on it!”
“Why isn’t it rainbow-coloured?”

“The caramel eggs are Buy 2 get one free.”
“We need more chocolate.”
“We didn’t buy chocolate?”

“My armpit hair is getting really long.”
“I didn’t bring deodorant.”
“K, I’m just gonna pee right here.”

“Where’s my beer?”

“Madi can I get a shout-out in your blog?”-Erin Bolger

“I don’t buy suncreen above 30SPF.”
“Damn, your butt looks fantastic in those bike shorts.”
“Jesusssss his arms were ripped.”
“You have nice legs.”
“F*ck me, I just endo-ed so hard!”
“Where is that blood coming from?”
“Did you just fall into that cactus?”
“You can do it! It was so easy, I just wasn’t clipped in.”
“Ugh I can’t f*cking clip in.”
“SERIOUSLY?” *jams foot onto pedal*

“I look like I was involved in domestic violence.”

“Spring Break 20k13, AmIRightLadiezz?”

Tenaya, Una, Kari

2 tents, 2 towns, 5 girls, 9 days, 1,002 bruises, and endless smiles were all we needed for my last (and somehow first) college spring break. We didn’t plan a trip to Cabo or some gross spring break party with thousands of other college students sweating out Smirnoff and Jose Cuervo. Nope, we opted for the opportunity to cheer on our alpine and nordic teams through NCAA Championships in Steamboat (where the Bobkitties led after the first two days and ended up 4th overall! History!!) and then wreck ourselves riding our bikes around the geology of Moab, thinking a week in the desert would be the perfect way to get our meowtain biking legs back beneath us.



When we got to Moab, our first order of business was going to a bike shop to get Una’s dropper post fixed. We headed towards the Moab Cyclery, conveniently located next to City Market and Gearheads, the local “has everything” gear shop complete with free water. Our campsite was about 14 miles north of town on BLM land, free, beautiful, population of us, but no water. Or bathrooms. Not having bathrooms I can deal with, but knowing that technically you shouldn’t even dig a hole to poop into because the soil is so fragile makes all of the emergency poop possibilities more worrisome. I had a trowel, just in case. (Don’t worry mom, I didn’t actually have to use what I named “the emergency trowel.”)
IMG_9327At Moab Cyclery, we all decided to take our bikes out of the truck and look at them. I needed new front brake pads, and turns out Jenny’s derailluer on the bike she borrowed from Garret was completely screwed up. Things we should have probably done before leaving Bozo: CHECK THE DAMN BIKES. Whatever, spring break, amIright?


As we waited for Una and Jenny’s bikes to emerge from the depths of the shop, we ran some grocery and gear errands. The girl working at Gearheads asked me if we had just been to a concert…Tenaya and I completely lost our voices after the races. When we finally hit the road to ride it was almost 2pm, and we decided to ride some mellow loops outside town, North 40 and Lazy EZ. Tenaya and I stuck around after Jenny’s bike malfunctioned again, Kari’s seat post broke, and Una’s seat still wasn’t dropper-worthy. We kept riding while they drove back to town to try and get their poop in a group. Well, it started raining and winding even more, and Tenaya and I decided to just keep riding, yelling back and forth with what little voice we had left-bad idea. We drank out post-ride beers in the rain and eventually huddled under the roof of the vault toilets while we waited for the truck to return.

Kari’s bike. Trying to change a flat when you can’t get the wheel off. The nice people in the background eventually figured out that the axel was a fancier type, who knew?!

Tuesday we rode Slickrock which was one of the coolest trails I’ve ever ridden. I fell a lot and there was a lot of hard uphills, but the rock was so grippy and the views were freaking spectacular!

Una crushing

Wednesday was a wild goose chase to find Sara Jane. We started in Arches and were joined by Ron, Una and my old roommate who now lives in Fort Collins. After Arches we drove down to Indian Creek and spent the next 3 hours trying to find the Bozeman crew…we found them at about 7pm. There was a creek involved, too. My car drove through it.


Thursday was one of the most aggressive days I’ve ever had on a bike, we rode Porcupine Rim trail. It’s about 1,000ft of ascending right at the start, followed by 3,000ft of vertical drop…for 14 miles. Let’s just say the GoPro got some golden footage of everyone on the ground. IMG_9428

And then came Friday. We biked the Amasa back area, climbing up Hymasa trail where we found some more Bozeman friends! Then we spent the evening climbing Wall Street with Lance and Wilber, two guys I haven’t seen much of since high school. So there you had it, doing one last activity with people I had been trying to meet up with all week, during the last few hours of our desert frolicking.

Ron and me, arches out for Delicate Arch! 


Saturday brought a super quick drive home, plus a stop at Trader Joe’s. Madi has never been to Trader Joe’s. This was a bad call for her self-control. She has eaten far too much of the goodies purchased there. She is trying to come to terms with the perpetual stomach ache she will probably have for the next week.


The peanut gallery.
Goodnight, Chief! 







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